Ibintu bitatu ugomba kwitwararika mu rukundo

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Kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu rugende neza, ndetse mwese musangire ibyishimo kandi mubane neza hari imico imwe n’imwe mugomba kureka kandi burundu.

1. Ntukaremereze utuntu duto

Niba umukunzi wawe akoze agakosa, ntugahite ubikuririza ngo bimere nk’aho yaciye inka amabere nk’uko bajya babivuga. Buri wese afite uburenganzira bwo gukosa, ikibi ni ukubigira akamenyero. Tuvuge, niba ajugunye imyenda hejuru y’uburiri akagenda atayizinze ngo ayisubize mu kabati, ntukamere nk’aho akoze ikindi kintu gikomeye ahubwo wowe jya umuruta uyifate uyizinge uyimusubirize mu kabati kandi ubikorane umutima mwiza utinuba, ni bwo nawe azakureberaho urugero kandi noneho ubutaha akabikora.
Niba akunda gukina imikino yo kuri teleiziyo nk’uko bigaragara ku ifoto, wowe ukaba utabikunda, ntukamurakarire; jya umureka yikinire, gusa umwereke ko wowe utabikunda. Uzaba ureba, ubutaha azajya aza abanze akubaze icyo ushaka kureba kuko ubushize yabonye ko umwihanganira kabone n’iyo wowe utabikunda, azabigirira ko ujya umuha amahoro maze nawe ayaguhe kandi yishimye.

2. Ntukamufatire ibihano kuri buri kantu kose akoze

Guhana umukunzi wawe kuri buri kantu kose akoze udakunda ntacyo bizafasha urukundo rwanyu, usibye guhora mwese murakaranya. Hari abantu bamwe babura icyo bakora iyo abakunzi babo bakoze ibintu batishimira bagahitamo kubashakira ibihano. Ibi bihano bishobora kuba kutavugana nabo mu gihe cy’iminsi ibiri cyangwa inarenze, gutaha bagahita biryamira yakuvugisha ukamusubiza nabi, kumuhisha ibintu bimwe uziko ajya akoresha bikakubangamira (nk’imikino ajya akina, ibitabo ajya asoma akakwima umwanya,) n’ibindi…
Burya akenshi birakubabaza, bikagushengura umutima, aho kugira ngo ubyitwaremo utyo, jya ugerageza kureba ibyiza akora, ugerageze kureba uruhande rwe rwiza kandi wumve ibyo biguhagije; ubundi uzaba ureba ukuntu bizamukora ku mutima agahinduka ubwe nta zindi mbaraga ushyizeho, kubera izo mbuto nziza wamwereye, witwara gutyo
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3. Ntugahatirize

Hari igihe umukunzi wawe ashobora kugukorera ikosa, ukamubabarira ari nko kumwikiza, kubera ko wabuze uko ugira; akenshi ugahora ubyibuka cyangwa ugahora wumva usa n’umurwariye inzika, usa n’uwifuza nawe umunsi umwe kuzamwishyura iryo kosa yagukoreye, ukabona kuruhuka! Kenshi ugerageza no kubyikuramo bikakunanira neza neza, ukagerageza kwishyiramo ko wamubabariye kandi ko wishimanye nawe ariko wakwisuzuma ukumva urasa n’urimo kwibeshya. Sigaho kwirwaza umutima, rekera aho niba wumva byanze, nta tegeko ufite ryo kugumana nawe niba wumva urukundo rwari rubahuje rutagihari kuko ni ryo shingiiro ry’umubano wanyu. Gusa umwegere ubimubwire udahubutse, kuko burya iyo we akigukunda cyangwa se akaba atari abyiteguye biramuremerera cyane kumva ko umusezeye, ko utagishaka kubana nawe.
Mu rukundo, jya wirinda guhubuka no guhatiriza ngo ukore ibitakurimo ushaka kumushimisha, wirinde kandi no kumukomeretsa mu gihe ubimubwira kuko burya umuntu mwigeze kubana n’iyo mwatandukana, ntibiba ari byiza ko mutandukana nabi.Uretse n'ibitabo nifashishije nandika iyi nkuru, nanjye mfite experience kuko iyi ngingo ya gatatu yambayeho ku mukobwa nakundaga, nzabamenyesha inkuru ndende ubutaha

Ibirungo by’Urukundo

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 Bimwe mu byagufasha kuryoshya urukundo rwawe

Iyo ugiye guteka indyo runaka ukenera kumenya uburyo ubigenza, ukamenya ibyo ubanza n’ibirungo uza gukenera byose (ingredients), ukenera kandi kumenya uburyo ubigenza n’ uko ukurikiranya ibirungo ku buryo n’undi wakubaza uko bikorwa wamenya uko ubimusobanurira. Ese mu rukundo byo bigenda bite? Ese ni ibihe birungo ukenera ngo rurusheho kumera neza no kuryoha? Hano turakwereka ubwoko bw’ibirungo bugera kuri 20 wakoresha kugira ngo ‘ifunguro ryawe mu rukundo’ ribe riteguye neza.

1. Banza wubahe umukunzi wawe: Akenshi kubera kumenyerana cyane usanga wibagirwa icyubahiro umugomba. Si byiza ko usigara umufata nk’umuntu usanzwe ngo umubwire ibyo wishakira byose. Umukunzi wawe aba akwiye guhora ashimishwa n’uko umwitwaraho, ukamwitwararikaho, ukamwereka ko umuha icyubahiro kandi kimukwiriye. Aba yifuza ko umwubaha kandi ukanamwubahisha mu bandi.

2. Jya unyurwa n’uko umukunzi wawe ameze: Abakundana benshi batandukanywa n’uko umwe mu bakundana atanyurwa n’uko uwo akunda ameze, yabona inshuti ye ifite umukunzi akifuza ko nawe uwe yaba ameze atyo kandi burya ikigushimisha si cyo cyashimisha undi, n’icyo wakundiye umukunzi wawe sicyo undi yakundiye uwe, bityo byakabaye byiza buri wese anyuzwe n’uko umukunzi we ameze.

3. Jya ubwira umukunzi wawe ko ari mwiza, yambaye neza, aberewe,… bitari ukumureshya no kumuryarya, ahubwo ari ukumwereka uburyo aguhagije kandi ko uticuza icyo wamukundiye.

4. Jya umubwira utujambo tw’urukundo, umubwire kandi nta soni ufite ko umukunda, nibura inshuro imwe ku munsi. Hari abantu bamwe batinya kuvuga ijambo”ndagukunda”, kandi mu by’ukuri nta muntu n’umwe udashimishwa no kubwirwa n’umukunzi ko amukunda, cyangwa ko nta soni biteye kuba umukunda. Ni byiza ko ubimubwira, akabimenya, akareka kubishidikanyaho; ariko ntibibe kubimubwira gusa ahubwo unabimwereke mu bikorwa.
5. Mujye mugira imishinga mufatanya: Burya iyo abantu bakundana usanga batavugana ku bintu byose, ariko bikaba byiza iyo bagize ibyo bafatanya gukorana nk’udushinga duto, gutegura urugendo bazakorana, kubaka inzu; ntibibe bya bindi umwe agenda akiherera agakora ibintu undi akazatungurwa!
6. Mujye mwicarana muganire cyane cyane ku kibazo runaka kibugarije, mugirane inama, kandi mugire n’umwanzuro mufatira hamwe.

7. Mujye mugerageza guhana impano bitari ngombwa wenda ko ziba zihenze cyane, ariko zifite icyo zisobanuye, zishobora kuvuga no gukora byinshi kurusha ibyo wavuga n’umunwa wawe.

8. Mujye mufatanya muri byose: Niba ari mu makosa umukosore kandi niba aguye mu byago ntumutererane.

9. Jya uhora umwishimiye kandi umwereke ko ari uwa mbere mu buzima bwawe: Abantu benshi birabagora kwerekana ibyo biyumvamo, ariko burya bishimisha umukunzi kumwereka ko ari uwa mbere, ko watomboye kumubona, ko wifuza ko muzibanira akaramata, kandi ko nta na rimwe uzigera umureka n’ibindi byose byiza wamwereka.

10. Birashoboka ko mushobora kuganira mukagera kure, mugakoranaho, mugasomana ndetse yewe mukaba mwanagera aho muryamana, ariko ntimukabigire nk’aho aricyo gisobanuro cy’urukundo kuko urukundo ni
 rugari rurenze ibi bifatika!

11. Mujye mugira umwanya wo guseka, mubwirane inkuru zisekeje, muruhurane mu mutwe, musekeee.. museke peee! Ntiwari uzi se ko guseka bavuga ko byongera iminsi yo kubaho? Usibye n’ibyo kandi ni byiza ko ukora utuntu cyangwa ukabwira utuntu umukunzi wawe dutuma agukumbura iyo udahari, yaba atwibutse yewe mutanari kumwe agaseka.

12. Mujye mugira ingingo runaka mutegura kuganiraho nibura rimwe mu byumweru bibiri, ingingo mubona ko yabubaka mwembi, wenda nibiba ngombwa mushake ubarusha kuyumva cyangwa kuyisobanukirwa ayibaganirizeho.

13. Mujye mugira igihe cyo kuganira ku ndoto zanyu kandi buri wese afashe undi kuzigeraho.

14. Ntimugapfukirane: Mbere y’uko akubona yari afite ibyo asanzwe akunda ndetse afite n’izindi nshuti. Ikindi kandi burya umuntu ni mugari ku buryo wowe wenyine udashobora kumuhaza; akeneye umubera umuvandimwe, uwo batera ibiparu mu gihe ashaka kwiruhurira mu mutwe (aba bajya bita Abajama), akeneye umunyenshuri bigana cyangwa umukozi bakorana kugira ngo amubere inshuti y’umwihariko, akeneye inshuti magara,…Jya umureka rero yisanzure kuba agufite ntibivuga ko yasubijwe ko nta n’undi muntu n’umwe akeneye.

15. Mwese muri kimwe, ntukumve ko hari ibyo wemerewe we atakora cyangwa ngo wumve ko hari amakosa ashobora gukorwa n’abagabo atakorwa n’abagore cyangwa se yakorwa n’abagore ntakorwe n’abagabo. Mwese muri kimwe, nta mwana, nta mukozi w’undi, nta mucakara w’undi ahubwo muri umwe; bityo rero ntihakagire uwumva ibi bireba uriya ngo we yumve ntacyo bimubwiye.
16. Mwemere uko ari, wishimire uko ari kuko ariwe Imana yakuremeye. Ntukumve ko wakwishima kurushaho ari uko uri kumwe na kanaka, jya ushimishwa n’umukunzi wawe kandi wige guhazwa n’ibyo ufite.

17. Ntimukabeshyane kandi ntimugacane inyuma: Ntacyo abandi bamurusha, bityo jya unyurwa n’uko ameze, ni wo muberanye pe.

18. Mujye mubabarirana, igihe umwe muri mwe, agize ikosa agwamo: Niba hari icyo yakoze kitagushimishije, ntukumve ko isi yakuguyeho, ntukumve kandi ko bikabije ku buryo adakwiye kubabarirwa. Twese turi abanyamakosa kandi buri wese yemerewe gukosa kuko tutari abamalayika, gusa ntuzabigendereho ngo nawe uhore ubabaza umukunzi, umunsi umwe ashobora kunanirwa kwihangana akagusiga kandi ntibyakugwa neza.

19. Jya usigarana amasomo y’ibyakubayeho, ntukibagirwe kugira ngo bijye bigufasha guhora wirinda kugwa mu makosa wigeze kugwamo kera.

20. Jya ugira ubushake ko urukundo rwanyu rwakomeza, niba usenga jya ubishyira mu isengesho ryawe rya buri munsi, ntukibagirwe ko byose bishoboka, urukundo rukwiye guhora ruvomerwa.
Hari igihe ujya guteka ufite ibirungo bihagije ariko ukabivangitiranya ukaza gusanga ibyo wateguye bitaryoshye. Jya umenya rero gukora ikintu mu mwanya wacyo, umenye ikihutirwa kurusha ikindi kandi hejuru ya byose urukundo rube urwa mbere. Ibi nubishobora uzaba ugitsinze.